Our Feelings on Adoption

I stumbled on this blog from another friend's blog. http://www.wearegraftedin.com/

As I was scrolling through it I stumbled on this post titled "Enough".  This is how Bill & I feel about adoption.  I know I could have not said it any better than this person. 

As with this person, it bothers me when people give me a "weird" look or even have a negative comment when I even suggest that we might adopt again.  They will say with a high pitch voice "WHAT?" and then usually follow up with a "you guys are crazy" or "You are such good people".

I guess I could answer "yes" to both of those comments.  But, it still bothers me.  I know I should not let it.  We know our heart.  We know why we want to adopt more children.  And not everyone gets it.  Not everyone has the love for the orphans like we do.  I am so very thankful that through adoption, we have met so many wonderful families who do "get it" and who are "crazy" like we are.  Because then I don't feel so alone.

This past weekend was rough for Bill & I.  We were praying about a child who needs a family.  And we almost signed the papers to be her family.  We were that close.  But I felt she was not our daughter.  While talking to another adoption friend, just asking her for advice on an older child adoption, we found out that their family was the perfect family for this precious girl.

I love seeing God work.  He is in the miracle business.  And what happened over the past few days was a miracle.  And I can see God's hand in this adoption starting from 2 years ago, when Bill went to China with Bring Me Hope.  That got us talking about an older child adoption.  That week in China made us realize that yes, we will adopt an older child.  And when "our plan" of adopting an older child did not work out, God made sure that we found Ethan.  If we would not have found Ethan, and if all of his paperwork did not go "as God planned", then we would not have traveled in Jan and we would not have met this family.  If we would not have met them, then I would not have emailed them asking for advice, and they would not have known about this precious girl that they hope to soon call their daughter.

Even though we did not adopt this girl, she did get us talking again about adopting an older child.  We do feel confident that we will adopt an older child.  Maybe not today, or next month.  But we do feel that this will happen.  I do believe that this precious child was our "wake up" call.  We've been so preoccupied with bonding with Ethan, all of his surgeries etc that we have not even really thought about adding another child to the family.  But now that surgeries are finally behind us, and we are able to sit back and take a breath, well this is when we are hearing God speak.

So who knows what the future holds for us.  We do feel that our family is not complete.  We do feel that we will adopt again.  And then maybe again, and again, and again.  I just pray that God will protect us from the people who think we are "crazy".  Or at least give me the right words to say to witness to them about adoption.

Thanks for listening to me go on and on.   :-)

Cheering our Niece/Cousin

Saturday we drove down to Sarasota to watch Marissa compete in her gymnastics meet.  It was so fun to watch. Even though I have no idea how gymnastics is even judged.  :-)  The girls loved seeing all of the girls do their routines.  We asked if they wanted to do gymnastics now and they said "no way".  LOL

Marissa did a great job!  We are so proud of her. 

After looking at this picture, it made me realize this is what our family would look like with 1 more child.  :-)  (You never know with us).  Ha Ha! 

Annoying Questions

I don't know if you, my adoptive friends, get the annoying questions from strangers.  I get them all the time.

-Where are they from?
-Are they adopted?
-Why did you adopt?

The most asked question I get is: "Are they twins?"

At first I used to handle these questions with grace.  I figured these strangers were just curious about adoption and I wanted to be a positive light on the subject.

Then my girls started to understand.  They started answering the questions "WE ARE NOT TWINS!"  So I've had to change my response to be more protective of my girls.

Well yesterday I had had it.  This is the one question that I won't tolerate.  I've been asked it a few times and have tried to answer with grace, but now that my girls are old enough, and because they were sitting right next to this lady, I had to just say it like it is:

Question from a stranger: "Are they real siblings?"

I looked at my hubby to see how he reacted or if he was going to answer.  He was holding Ethan and really did not think about what she asked.  Then I look at her and said "Um yes, they are real siblings" and I think I gave her a "stupid" look.  She then proceeded to say "OH no, I meant...." and then faded off as if the light bulb just went off in her head.

Why do perfect strangers feel the need to bluntly ask personal questions like this?  I don't go up to strangers and ask "are those your kids? Are you their real mom?"  What makes people think that this is okay?

I had been asked the "real sisters" questions before and I answered "yes". Then was asked "How do you know?"  Seriously?  How do I know?  BECAUSE I'M THEIR MOTHER!

I was so upset yesterday when we left. I was shaking. I told Bill that I'm so sick of this.  He was not as upset by the question. Until I explained why I was so upset.  I told him that the girls understand these questions now.  They hear everything. I do not want them to EVER think they are not real sisters.  They are real sisters.  They will always be real sisters.  They just are not biological sisters.  Bill then got it.  He's not around all the questions as much as I am. So it never really occurred to him that the girls were understanding.

Yes, we have 3 adopted children.  Yes, they are OUR children.  They will always be our REAL children.  We love them as if they came from my womb.  Nothing or Nobody can or will EVER take that away from us.  We are VERY protective over our kids.  And if someone can not accept them as OUR children, then we have chosen to distance ourselves from them.  Unfortunately we do have family who do not consider them family, because they are not blood. And that just makes me sick. Who could EVER deny a child?  Who could do that?  We will do our best to protect our children.

And as frustrated as I get by the "nosy" questions.  I will still try to answer them with grace.  But I will also do it in a manner that respects my children and protects them.

If you are reading this and have come across questions from strangers or issues from family, I would love to hear how you have/are handling it.  Thank  You!

Until next time.....

Toothless Abby

Our little Abigail is growing up way too fast.  She used to be terrified of losing her teeth.  Now, well now she's not even telling us that they are wiggly.  She is surprising us by pulling them out all by herself at school. 

Friday while we were at the hospital, we received an email from my friend who was picking the girls up from school.  In the email was a photo.  This photo.  And a note saying "Guess who lost another tooth".

Abby is so proud of herself.  And we are proud of her too.  This is her 8th tooth that she has lost.  The 2nd tooth is 2 weeks that she has pulled out by herself at school. 

A little Better

Yesterday was a little better than the day before.  I can see improvement in Ethan.  He slept really well Saturday night.  And slept more than normal during the day on Sunday.  But he also was walking on Sunday.  He did not want to walk at all on Saturday.  So this is good.  He also played a little and danced a little and chased his sisters a little.  BUT, around 8 PM last night, we noticed his energy level come back.  Not a good thing, when mom is exhausted and just wants to go to bed.  :-)

Last night he did not sleep as soundly.  He was up several times crying.  He is not comfortable.  And I think his little tummy hurts.  We gave him more meds around 2 AM and he did go back to sleep.  But it was not a sound sleep.  Of course, he's sleeping now, when mom has to get up to get his sisters ready for school.  :-)

Here are a few pictures from yesterday.  They are not the best quality.  They were taken on my cell phone.  But you can see how much better he is looking.

Thanks for the prayers!  We can feel God really looking after our precious boy!

He passed out on the floor Sat night

Palate Surgery: Complete!

We are home!  Ethan did well during his surgery.  We have not been able to look inside his mouth. But the surgeon said everything looked good.

Ethan had a rough day yesterday.  A lot of screaming & fighting.  He was mad.  Finally around 8 PM he calmed down and slept for a few hours.  He slept off & on during the night.

Today, he has been much happier.  Still not 100%.  But better than yesterday.  He's not fighting us as much.  And he's drinking liquids and wanting to play.

Thank you for the prayers!  Now we need to pray for his recovery.

Before surgery

After surgery

It's Surgery Time

Well tomorrow, Friday Sept 17, is the big day.  Palate surgery day.  The day we've been waiting for for 8 months.  Yes, can you believe it?  Saturday will be 8 months since Ethan was placed in our arms forever. 

Please pray for us while we help Ethan recover from the surgery.  He's a very strong willed little boy, so we know that there will be a lot of yelling, fighting, and screaming from Ethan over the next few weeks.  Mainly because he won't be able to eat.  And he LOVES to eat. 

Surgery is at 7:30 AM.  I'm not sure how long it will last.  But we are spending the night this time at the hospital.  Bill & I will both be staying with Ethan.  They anticipate us being discharged on Saturday. 

Thanks for praying with us.  I will update the blog as soon as I can.

Love & Hugs,
Debbie

Ethan met Tigger

Ethan met his FAVORITE Disney Character this weekend: TIGGER!  While we were waiting in line, he spotted him.  The smile on Ethan's face was priceless.  He kept pointing at him and smiling.  So cute.

We had to see Pooh & Eeyore first.  Ethan did not want to.  He cried at both of them.  And did the sign for "all done".  It was hilarious.  Then we walk to Tigger.  Ethan would not get out of my arms, but he did not cry.  He waved, and touched Tigger and gave Tigger a "5" and then a "high 5".  He could not take his eyes off of Tigger.  It was priceless. 

Enjoy the photos!

Abby's Referral Day

Six years ago today, we found out that we had a baby girl waiting for us in China.  Her name was Wu Yu and she just celebrated her 1st birthday 2 days before.  She was living with a foster family in Nanchong, China.  We remember that day so well.  Seems like yesterday. I can't believe it's been 6 years. 

Happy Referral Day Miss Abigail.  We are so happy God chose us to be your parents.  We love you so much!

Referral Photo

Happy Birthday Abigail

On Sunday, Sept 5th we celebrated Abby's 7th birthday. So hard to believe that she is 7 years old.  Time is going by too fast. 

We love you Abigail Grace Yu!  We hope you had a very Happy Birthday!

The Birthday Girl

Ethan's New BFF

Ethan has a new Best Friend.  He has to go with us everywhere......

In the car

To Walmart

On a walk

Eating Snack Together

To Chick-Fil-A

And of course to sleep

Tigger is Ethan's new best friend.  If Tigger is not with Ethan, then Ethan is not happy.  Thank you Nanny & Grace for bringing Tigger to Ethan.  He loves him. 

Now I can't wait for Ethan to meet the REAL Tigger this weekend at Disney.  I hope he gets excited.

Until next time.....