Annoying Questions

I don't know if you, my adoptive friends, get the annoying questions from strangers.  I get them all the time.

-Where are they from?
-Are they adopted?
-Why did you adopt?

The most asked question I get is: "Are they twins?"

At first I used to handle these questions with grace.  I figured these strangers were just curious about adoption and I wanted to be a positive light on the subject.

Then my girls started to understand.  They started answering the questions "WE ARE NOT TWINS!"  So I've had to change my response to be more protective of my girls.

Well yesterday I had had it.  This is the one question that I won't tolerate.  I've been asked it a few times and have tried to answer with grace, but now that my girls are old enough, and because they were sitting right next to this lady, I had to just say it like it is:

Question from a stranger: "Are they real siblings?"

I looked at my hubby to see how he reacted or if he was going to answer.  He was holding Ethan and really did not think about what she asked.  Then I look at her and said "Um yes, they are real siblings" and I think I gave her a "stupid" look.  She then proceeded to say "OH no, I meant...." and then faded off as if the light bulb just went off in her head.

Why do perfect strangers feel the need to bluntly ask personal questions like this?  I don't go up to strangers and ask "are those your kids? Are you their real mom?"  What makes people think that this is okay?

I had been asked the "real sisters" questions before and I answered "yes". Then was asked "How do you know?"  Seriously?  How do I know?  BECAUSE I'M THEIR MOTHER!

I was so upset yesterday when we left. I was shaking. I told Bill that I'm so sick of this.  He was not as upset by the question. Until I explained why I was so upset.  I told him that the girls understand these questions now.  They hear everything. I do not want them to EVER think they are not real sisters.  They are real sisters.  They will always be real sisters.  They just are not biological sisters.  Bill then got it.  He's not around all the questions as much as I am. So it never really occurred to him that the girls were understanding.

Yes, we have 3 adopted children.  Yes, they are OUR children.  They will always be our REAL children.  We love them as if they came from my womb.  Nothing or Nobody can or will EVER take that away from us.  We are VERY protective over our kids.  And if someone can not accept them as OUR children, then we have chosen to distance ourselves from them.  Unfortunately we do have family who do not consider them family, because they are not blood. And that just makes me sick. Who could EVER deny a child?  Who could do that?  We will do our best to protect our children.

And as frustrated as I get by the "nosy" questions.  I will still try to answer them with grace.  But I will also do it in a manner that respects my children and protects them.

If you are reading this and have come across questions from strangers or issues from family, I would love to hear how you have/are handling it.  Thank  You!

Until next time.....